This past week or so has brought another first day of school for most of our kids. But for my middle daughter it was the first time in 22 years that she did NOT have a first day of school. I think she was sad; she has always liked school. I, however, was never particularly fond of school, however, I just did the math and discovered that I have personally experienced 40 first days of school - 17 as a student, and another 23 as a teacher. In full disclosure, I actually liked first days of school. And last days, too. It was the 178 days in between when I had some struggles.

So I was thinking recently about the things I learned in school only to realize that most of what I learned in school was not as a student, but was from my extended stint as a teacher. I jotted down a few that I thought I would share. Actually, more than a few. But relax, none of these is going to be on the test because there will be no test.

1. Teaching is not for everyone. If you don't like kids, it's not a great gig. And some teachers don't seem to. But teaching is about the student (not the subject!).

2. Most kids will like you as a teacher if you simply like them first. While being likeable may not be the most important quality of a teacher, it does matter. A lot.

3. Kids don't mind hard, they mind boring and busywork and pointless - and they can tell the difference. But they don't mind a challenge.

4. Sarcasm is a deadly weapon. It's funny - kind of - but always at someone's expense.

5. Who you are is more important than what you teach. We all know this - we remember our teachers more than the subjects that they taught. It matters if you are fair and approachable and kind and reasonable.

6. Try to get on the other side of the lectern. Be on the same side with your student. Learning is a joint effort. And don't ever forget what it felt like to be a student.

7. School fits some kids better than others. If you are a good memorizer, you will be a good student. If not, you might struggle. But memorization skills are only one aspect of learning and intelligence. You have to figure out how various kids learn, and you have to let the kids who learn differently know that they are plenty intelligent.

8. When a kid fails a test, the teacher may have to accept some responsibility. And if a whole bunch of kids fail, the teacher has to own up to it. Tests are indicators of how well you have taught and/or motivated. (They also can reveal how well you do at asking questions.)

9. You never know what happened at home. When a kid walks through the door he may need a safe place more than a lecture on linking verbs. Don't forget that they are people first who are still trying to figure out how to navigate the ups and downs of life.

10. Students like lists. It makes note taking easy - and they know what to listen for. They also like to know what is going to be on the test. Why? It's not because they're lazy, but because they want to succeed. They want to do well. Most of them want to please.

11. If you don't assign seats, students will assign their own. Ninety-five percent of kids (I am making up this statistic) will sit in the same seat everyday because it feels familiar. Understand the power of "familiar."

12. Grading papers is the worst.

I realize that you might not be a school teacher, but if you work with people many of these lessons can be transferred to whatever setting you find yourself in. People like to be liked, valued, respected, heard, and appreciated for their uniqueness. They crave the familiar, they deal with hard things at home, they want to succeed, and they don't mind being challenged. People are just grown-up students.

 So how can these ideas help you with the people in your life?  And what would you add to the list?